


i'm an angel

by esmethenightdemon



Series: destiel one shots [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Has Patience (Supernatural), Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Character Study, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Fluff, M/M, Mild Angst, Mildly Annoyed Castiel, No Dialogue, One Shot, POV Castiel (Supernatural), Short & Sweet, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:14:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25311415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmethenightdemon/pseuds/esmethenightdemon
Summary: castiel knows dean loves him.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: destiel one shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744231
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	i'm an angel

i'm an angel. you seem to forget that all the time, dean, only remembering it when it's useful to you. but i am. so tell me why you think you can hide your emotions from me. i elect to not hear your thoughts for the sake of your privacy but i know how you feel always. i know the exact anguish you felt when you thought sam was gone for good in lucifer's cage. the calm you feel listening to led zeppelin in the bunker. your happiness when you see charlie or jody. the deep remorse you feel thinking about the people who died when you couldn't save them, even though it's never truly your fault.

but the one i feel from you in my presence the most is love. you've never said it out loud. none of you ever said 'i love you' to me, even platonically, and it's fine because i know the love is there anyway.

you, dean winchester, love me. you love me so much that sometimes i balk when i walk into a room because your love for me overwhelms. you love sam with the same sort of energy but yours for me is always tinged with sadness. maybe it's because john winchester taught you that loving anything that looks male is wrong. or that i'm unattainable.

but i can tell you for certain you're wrong. i have loved you ever since i touched your soul in hell. i didn't know it was love at first, of course. but i did. and i knew from then on i'd do most anything for you because i was always weak when it came to you. one looks at those eyes, that way you silently plead with me, and i'm a goner.

i love you. so much that it's tangible, so much that sometimes it feels heavy in my mouth, so much that even dying for you didn't seem so bad so long as you were okay. i never meant to hurt you. i never meant anything bad i ever did to you. except for when i beat the shit out of you in an alleyway. you deserved that.

i love the crooked way you smile. i love the way your emerald eyes shine when you're laughing. i love the off-key way you sing along to songs in your car. i love the way you can't give up on anyone if there is a chance to save them. i love the way you act childishly because you were forced to grow up too fast and i want you to reclaim that what you lost. i love your obsession with food. i love the way you give your love away so freely to those around you. dean, i love you so unconditionally and it pains me that i can't tell you as much.

we love each other. your soul reaches out to my grace every time we're near and you still can't even take my hand.

i know you probably still think it's wrong, somewhere deep in your mind. a poisonous little voice still whispering horrible things to you. but i promise it'll be okay. just reach out and we can do this together.

im an angel. you seem to forget that because i never act like one. i'm an angel. i was never meant to feel. instead i fell in every way possible for the man who taught me how to do just that. and for you, dean winchester, i'll keep falling.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed <3


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